Intergalactic
Somewhere, a solar system map tycoon twirls his thin black mustache. Are elementary schools everywhere going to have to buy new solar system maps? Or will they put a black piece of tape over Pluto and look the other way, change the topic when the tape is questioned by a curious third grader? When I consider the Galactic Senate’s decision to demote Pluto, I wonder how much work is it going to take to make sure that no child grows up thinking that Pluto is a real planet. How many hours, how many null and void solar system maps, science text-books and videotapes of Bill Nye?
And it is all necessary. And it is about damn time. We can’t simply go on living our lives pretending that something did not happen. Pluto is no longer a planet. Too small. Too weak. Too pathetic. Pluto didn’t have what it takes to make planet status. You lost, Pluto. You fucked it up for all of us. And now we have to pay. We have to reprint our maps. You should be ashamed of yourself, Pluto. You dwarf planet. Call us when you’re ready for the big leagues. Let us know when you’re ready to be a real planet.
